I have relatives in Moscow. Back in the late 19th century, someone from my family went to Moscow to work — apparently as a domestic servant — and that is how the Moscow branch of our family came into being. One person I have been in closer contact with over the past few decades is Natasha, to whom I am related through her grandmother.

Natasha is a mathematician. Her father was an air force colonel, but the kind who worked on designing new aircraft and improving old ones — what you'd probably call an engineer. As it happened, her daughters also studied mathematics and worked on projects related to the defense industry, even though Natasha herself is a lecturer at a university in Moscow. When I traveled in Siberia, I mostly stayed with relatives, and Natasha has likewise visited Tallinn.

In 2011, Natasha was a strong critic of Putin. Vladimir Putin's re-election was coming up, the outcome was obvious, and all my acquaintances in Moscow and St. Petersburg were angry — not necessarily because Putin was running, but because the whole election process was obviously rigged. When Putin won, protests broke out in Russia. In fact, they had already begun before the election and took place in dozens of Russian cities, though for some reason people only talk about Bolotnaya.

By chance, I had business in Moscow in March 2014, so I was there just as the fraudulent referendum was held in Crimea, Crimea requested to join Russia, and was accepted. I remember that when I walked in through Natasha's door, the first question she asked me was: "What are they saying about Ukraine over there [in Estonia]?"

What followed was a very unpleasant surprise: it turned out that my older-generation relatives in Moscow had gone from being Putin critics to passionate supporters, because their beloved president had brought the "ancient Russian lands" — namely the Crimean Peninsula — back into Russia's fold. And Natasha remained a supporter of Putin.

When the full-scale Russia–Ukraine war began, I didn't even write to Natasha — I already know how she sees things while living on a diet of Russian propaganda. Like any proper Russian, Natasha has two televisions at home. One is in the living room, the other in the kitchen. Before the morning coffee is even started, the TV is switched on.

In Natasha's household, the TV is tuned to the Rossiya 1 channel, and it constantly broadcasts all the propaganda programs and talk shows that Russian state media offers to indoctrinate its people (and not only its own people). All those programs by Kiselyov, Solovyov, and other propagandists are the main sources of information for people like Natasha. The hysterical talk shows on state television are especially good places for gathering information — though for people like us, watching them requires very strong nerves.

 A few years ago, Natasha sent me a hysterical letter demanding that I say what I thought about the behavior of Estonia's president. I had no idea what she was talking about. Later it turned out that this referred to the time when President Alar Karis said in an interview that Estonia would help its allies bring Russia to its knees. When I realized what she meant, I replied more or less that I didn't really care. Natasha asked whether I wasn't concerned about Estonia's reputation in Russia. I replied that since I wasn't planning to go to Russia anymore anyway, I really didn't care.

To make a long story short, Natasha still writes to me from time to time whenever Estonia pops up again in the Russian media. In that sense, she is a useful source of information, because I get some idea of what is being said about Estonia in Russia.

One topic that keeps coming up is NATO military bases in Estonia (in the plural, by the way), as well as F-16 fighter jets stationed in Estonia that are supposedly ready at any moment to take off and attack St. Petersburg and Moscow. I've also learned that since Peter the Great once paid compensation to Sweden for Estonia — which is actually true — we here should keep our mouths shut and stop talking about any occupation, because Russia allegedly bought Estonia already in the 18th century.

Another line that is constantly repeated in Russia about Estonia is how ungrateful the "pribalty" are, considering that Russia supposedly supported them throughout the entire Soviet period while living in poverty itself. So what occupation are we talking about? And when Estonia regained independence, our GDP was supposedly high only thanks to the brotherly self-sacrifice of the Russian people.

Things really took a disturbing turn when Natasha started threatening a nuclear strike on Tallinn if Estonians did not stop hosting NATO bases in Estonia. "Of course it would be a shame about Tallinn's Old Town," Natasha wrote with particular spite. And this was written by someone who not very long ago traveled to Estonia to enjoy visiting Tallinn's Old Town. What was especially astonishing, of course, was that she is a university lecturer and a mathematician.

Through my interactions with Natasha, I've begun to understand why many Ukrainians have cut off contact with their relatives in Russia. I've also come to realize that the narrative cultivated here — that Russian intellectuals are critical of Putin and opposed to the war — is nonsense.

No, Natasha is not the only Russian intellectual who wholeheartedly hates Ukraine and Ukrainians, wants to see Estonia flattened by tanks, and believes all kinds of absurdities that are written and said about us in Russia. For example, there's the ridiculous story that the Baltic countries have been so emptied of people that bears now wander through our city streets.

If there's one more thing I've come to understand, it's that there can be no "normal" relations with Russia. People like Natasha will not change, no matter what our "friends of good Russians" may imagine. And I'm not at all sure that I ever want to see Natasha face to face again.

--

Follow ERR News on Facebook and X and never miss an update!