Tõnis Sildaru pointed to sports ethics rules concerning so-called secret recordings and criticized the Estonian Center for Integrity in Sports (EADSE) and the Estonian Ski Association (ESL) for failing to react when his underage daughter recorded conversations with him as her coach years ago.

Several important conclusions can be drawn here.

First, that the recordings are authentic. Second, that Tõnis Sildaru considered himself to be acting in his role as coach when he threatened to beat his daughter in front of others, told her to go to hell and fuck off, repeatedly flipped her off, called her stupid and berated her for having "only" 30,000 Instagram followers at the time, among other gems.

Perhaps worst of all in terms of psychological abuse was that suicide threats were a regular pattern of Tõnis Sildaru's behavior, used in an attempt to control the behavior of both his children and their mother.

EADSE very bluntly dismissed Tõnis Sildaru's complaints and pointed out, among other things, the fact that elite sports doesn't even tolerate the abuse of horses, suggesting Tõnis should look in the mirror before invoking sports ethics.

Harju District Court had already delivered a related rebuke in 2021, emphasizing that a child is not a racehorse meant to earn their parent a profit.

The difference between children and horses in elite sports is obvious: nobody speaks of economic abuse when prize money earned by a horse is kept by its owner. But when it comes to kids, it's neither ethically nor legally acceptable for a parent to put an underage child to work for the parent's own benefit and then simply take all the money the child earns from them.

Hundreds of thousands gone

That, however, is exactly what Tõnis Sildaru did.

This is why criminal proceedings are still ongoing over charges brought by the state that Tõnis Sildaru misappropriated his daughter's assets. As Tõnis Sildaru himself requested, the proceedings are public.

A ruling is expected at the end of May, but in reality, there is no possible moral victory available to him, and for one simple reason: he acted wrongly both ethically and legally, and anyone claiming otherwise is disregarding the facts.

More importantly, beyond the purely financial aspect, Tõnis Sildaru had effectively completely drained his daughter's assets.

By early 2019, Kelly Sildaru's bank account reportedly contained only just over €6,000. And this despite the fact that over the years, she had earned more than €100,000 in prize money and athlete bonuses alone. Hundreds of thousands more on top of that had hit Kelly's account in sponsorship money and scholarships. Let's not forget Kelly Sildaru was a world-class athlete already at just ten years old.

Over the years, Tõnis Sildaru transferred more than €400,000 from his daughter's account into his own. Tõnis Sildaru also also transferred sponsorship money paid into Kelly's account to the nonprofit Kelly & Henry Sildaru Ski Club, which Kelly had no links to whatsoever.

Kelly was not even accepted as a regular member of the nonprofit after applying. As a result, the accountant refused to provide Kelly with any information when she tried to determine what had been done with her sponsorship money within the nonprofit.

By the time she first took her father to court in 2019, Kelly was left with virtually no assets at all.

That dispute ended in a settlement under which a house previously owned solely by Tõnis was transferred into Kelly's name. Negotiating with his underage daughter at the time, Tõnis Sildaru had argued that everything a parent owns will be passed on to their child when they die anyway.

That claim is false.

Parents are under no obligation to leave assets to an adult child who is no longer financially dependent on them. That means that, in effect, this father had squeezed his underage elite-athlete daughter dry of her earnings before she even reached adulthood.

Family business angle roundly rejected

Then, in 2020, Tõnis Sildaru sued Kelly Sildaru himself, arguing that the Sildaru family had essentially operated a family business with their underage children and that the profits should therefore be distributed evenly between them all.

In response, Harju District Court wrote in 2021 that "the court considers it immoral and reprehensible to develop underage children like thoroughbred horses so they can later repay, with profit, the money invested in them through their work." The district court unequivocally shut Tõnis down.

Tõnis appealed, but the circuit court rejected him as well, and the Supreme Court of Estonia refused to take the case either.

The message from Estonia's judiciary was unmistakable: that is not how things are done.

Yet Tõnis continued digging in, even insisting in a 2024 appearance on "Täistund" on TV that he handled his underage son Henry's finances no differently.

Why should he have, Tõnis asked, despite courts already having explained in detail precisely why.

In reality, not even the faintest hint of any supposed "agreements with his young children ever existed, as Tõnis repeatedly reminded his underage daughter, among other things, that he, Tõnis, was the captain of Team Sildaru and that he made the decisions. He lied to his daughter, falsely claiming that all contracts were signed in Team Sildaru's name, even though the contracts were actually in either Kelly's or Henry's name and, legally speaking, no such entity as Team Sildaru even existed.

For those who have lamented over how Tõnis himself was supposed to make a living, it's worth noting that between 2015 and 2019, he reportedly earned a net €2,500 a month.

That figure was a combination of three main sources of income: a minimum wage salary from the Ski Association, sizable per diems from training camps and coaching bonuses from the Estonian Olympic Committee (EOK) and the Cultural Endowment of Estonia.

So what was the problem?

In negotiations involving his child, Tõnis Sildaru insisted he was worth €20,000 a month, but added he'd settle for €10,000. Tõnis viewed himself as an international coach, comparing himself, among others, to the head coach of the Swiss national ski team at the time.

It's clear based on the evidence that Tõnis wasn't merely seeking pay; he wanted to get rich off his daughter's success.

Ugly reality of exploiting kids

The sum Kelly Sildaru is seeking in the ongoing civil suit concerns money that is — or at least should still be — held in the account of the nonprofit Kelly & Henry Sildaru Ski Club.

Notably, the nonprofit account holds more money than both Kelly's claim and the maximum total of Henry Sildaru's sponsorship money combined. Henry Sildaru testified in criminal proceedings that his sponsorship income held by the nonprofit couldn't have exceeded €100,000 in total. Kelly's claim is for approximately €211,000.

According to its latest annual report, the nonprofit reported assets as of May 31, 2025 totaling approximately €316,000.

That makes it especially strange that businessman Urmas Sõõrumaa, for example, has encouraged supporters to donate money toward the issue. That money is already there — or at least it should still be — sitting in the nonprofit's account.

It's essentially being held hostage there.

Unfortunately, Tõnis Sildaru's abuse has not been limited to just financial abuse.

Evidence exists of the child's both physical and psychological abuse. Economic and psychological abuse tend to go hand in hand, which is why this this whole story is about far more than just money.

The reality is far uglier and more disturbing than media coverage has let on.

And this issue is by no means limited to elite sports; it's also relevant today in terms of social media.

As Tõnis Sildaru's criminal complaints against his daughter illustrate, a parent can thrust a young child into social media for profit and then later claim that an account in the child's name actually belongs to the parent, along with the rights to the photos the parent posted there.

Under that logic, the child must then either buy back the rights to their account and image licenses from their own parent or expect to share all resulting social media revenue with a controlling parent for life.

Which perhaps leaves one final little business idea for parents everywhere: if you ever take photos or videos of your child, don't forget to charge them licensing fees on it all later.

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