Holidays throw routines off: psychologist shares four tips to manage stress
With routines out the window, finding peace during the holidays can be tricky for many. Estonian psychologist Andero Uusberg offers four strategies to beat holiday stress.
Many people experience emotions during the holidays that are hard to handle — feelings that are too strong, linger too long, or get in the way of daily life.
"One thing we study is the techniques people use when unwanted emotions arise," said Uusberg, a professor of affective psychology at the University of Tartu.
Studies show finding calm is often harder at Christmas than at other times of year.
"We think of Christmas as a peaceful time, but for various reasons, there are actually many sources of tension, both big and small, right around then," Uusberg said. Fatigue and the pressure to create perfect family memories often collide, causing stress — and in some households, resulting in serious consequences.
Major holidays also disrupt routines, giving people time to reflect on bigger issues.
"When we step out of our daily routine during the holidays, we finally have the bandwidth to think about bigger issues we don't usually consider each day," the psychologist explained. "And it may become clear that we have fewer reasons to worry — or to celebrate."
He added, however, that it's not uncommon to struggle to find calm during the holidays, and that this can serve as a useful example of emotional regulation.
Change what you can
Uusberg outlined four "toolbox" categories to help with managing your emotions. The first focuses on changing the situation.
"If someone wants calm, it's a good idea to go somewhere peaceful — a church or forest, for example," he said.
The second category involves directing your attention. Emotions can drive people to doomscroll, or seek bad news online, Uusberg acknowledged, but you can disrupt that cycle by consciously shifting your focus to something like reading, watching a movie or meditation instead.
The third category is controlling your thoughts, and the fourth is taking physical action.
Intense emotions trigger bodily arousal, or a fight-or-flight response, Uusberg explained. Breathing techniques are key, since the body's stress response system is largely automatic.
"We can't tell our heart not to beat so fast," he noted.
To take care of yourself, Uusberg recommends following Peaasi.ee's guidance: stay active, eat right, get enough sleep, nurture healthy relationships, avoid harmful ones and engage in meaningful activities — things you enjoy doing just for yourself, even for no particular reason.
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Editor: Annika Remmel, Aili Vahtla
