On ETV's "Hommik Anuga," Grigorjeva shared how society undervalues critical women and why words alone aren't enough.  

"I've noticed that you may have a microphone stuck in front of you, but whether you're actually heard and taken seriously is another matter entirely," she said.

This, she added, has everything to do with society's rigid idea of what a proper woman should be.

"You can't be too loud, too aggressive, too ambitious, too angry or too emotional, because then it's all too easily dismissed as just women's chatter," Grigorjeva explained. "Society doesn't reward that. Then you just remain reserved and modest, because then it's all good."

The award-winning poet and choreographer's observations resonate in personal interactions as well.

"Readers of my literature and poetry often write to me, you could say even affectionately, saying how cool it is that I exist and do what I do," she said. "Those letters are very moving to me."

Former TV producer Triin Luhats, a fellow guest on the show, shared how her own daughters express affection within their family.

"I'm lucky to get love letters every day from my younger daughter," Luhats said. "My older daughter occasionally slips sweet little notes in my planner. In our family, we say out loud that we love each other very often."

Going beyond familial or platonic affection, Grigorjeva emphasized that words alone are not enough.

"That's what I want to see more of," she said, adding that actions often speak louder than words. "Someone can tell you all about how wonderful, cool or amazing of a woman you are, but if it's not followed by any concrete steps, then it's just hot air. And I don't need that hot air in my life."

"It's the holy trinity: thoughts, words and deeds," added fellow guest and podcast host Laura Kurs. "And if one of those three is missing, the rest don't really matter either."

'I'm aggressive, daring and sassy'

Grigorjeva reflected on her broader feminist perspective and societal expectations. She recalled speaking in the president's Rose Garden in summer 2020, where her critical stance was difficult for some to swallow.

"I've never seen myself as a mother," she acknowledged. "I'm not saying that'll never change, but I don't feel like motherhood gives my life more meaning." But saying that part out loud is deemed absolutely scandalous.

Grigorjeva challenged common stereotypes about feminists. "People often think feminists are man-haters who don't want kids, don't want to do anything, don't want to care, don't want to look feminine," she noted. In reality, feminism is about equality.

"Feminism is necessary so men, women and nonbinary people alike can feel good," she said. "Then we don't have to collapse under those rigid gender roles. Everyone needs a little more room to move; then we'd have a healthier, more functional society. I may be feminine, but I'm an aggressive, daring and sassy auntie."

Grigorjeva's outspokenness has drawn harsh criticism as well. "I've received threatening letters, and after the Rose Garden reception, my mom started reading anonymous online comments," she recalled.

But she also has friends, loved ones and even strangers who have encouraged her, telling her she's doing the right thing. "That was crucial," she admitted. "If I'd been alone and believed the nonsense said about me, maybe I wouldn't be here."

"We don't always realize that the person sitting next to us has similar struggles; we hesitate to speak out," Luhats added. "If you're given a voice as a woman, use it."

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