Since the start of Russia's full-scale war against Ukraine in 2022, Estonian Triinu Perve has been doing whatever she can to help Ukrainians.

At first, Perve helped war refugees who had arrived in Estonia, but for the last 2 and a half years she has spent most of her time in Ukraine, where she assists local units by collecting donations and providing support.

 Perve first visited Ukraine in the summer of 2023, when she went to deliver vehicles.

"While I was there, I saw that a lot of things are happening on the ground. For certain relationships and connections, you need to be there to gain the trust of the commanders and the trust of the people who are there," Perve told ERR.

"When you're there, you understand what's really going on much more. You understand the spirit and everything behind it much better than just looking at it from afar," she explained.

Perve said that at a certain stage, members of the unit she helps, became good friends. Being in Ukraine has also helped to increase the trust of donors.

"It shows that you have really been there and really know those people. You know where these things are going. I still help those people I know personally. No matter how much we do or don't talk about it, not everyone in Ukraine is really transparent. It's easier to help those, who you know and see personally where these things are going and why they are needed," Perve said.

Over the past 3 years, Perve has collected €1.4 million in donations to help Ukrainians. She pointed out however, that a large proportion of those donations come from outside Estonia, as Estonians have become reluctant to donate following highly-publicized incidents in which it was revealed that their money had been used for other purposes.

"I asked how it was possible. They said,' wait, it will happen to you too'. 'I replied that it would not possible, it would mean I have no heart, or I don't feel anything anymore, but now I understand that my heart protects my head – it doesn't take things so hard."

In addition to helping Ukraine, Perve also has another important role in her life – being a mother.

"I have always been there for my child, whether I am here or (in Ukraine). In that sense, he has not been deprived of his mother. His mother is always there for him. He knows very well that no matter what, he can always call me and turn to me. I may not always be able to answer right away, but it's not like he's without a mother or doesn't see his mother enough. His mother is also at home."

Nevertheless, Perve admits that some comments she has received about being a mother are extremely hurtful.

"There is a lot of condemnation. I also raised a discussion on my Facebook page about how when a man goes and sacrifices himself for something noble, goes to another country to help or even to fight, he is considered a hero, but when a woman does the same, she is considered a bad mother, to have abandoned her family, and someone who doesn't care about her child," Perve said.

"This contradiction is still very prevalent in our society, where people don't really know the backstory and don't even try to understand what's behind it," she explained.

When asked how long she believes Ukraine can hold out on the front lines, Perve replied that, in reality, they can't hold out much longer. "However, they have no choice. Many of those who might have been able to hold out longer are already dead. That's how it is. The situation is really tough," she said.

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