It has been a week since the incident in Tartu County where Tarmo, who had previously stabbed his ex-partner, took both his own life and that of an oncoming motorist. On Friday, Argo — a father, husband, volunteer police officer and spiritual counselor — will be laid to rest. The woman who was the victim of the knife attack is still in the hospital but recovering. I wish peace of mind and strength to everyone who was directly or closely affected by these events.

We at the police have thoroughly reviewed all incidents we previously responded to involving Tarmo, along with the information we had about this family. Together with our partners, we continue to analyze what more could have been done to influence the perpetrator. Alongside investigating the specific details of this case, we are also seeking better solutions.

The police began receiving calls related to Tarmo in early April, and in total, we responded 18 times. What links these calls is aggressive, unstable behavior and threatening conduct. The man was violent toward both his ex-partner and his parents. In general, these were cases where the situation calmed down by the time police arrived, people talked it out and dispersed or we took the man to sober up. The police passed along information about the need for assistance to the local government and probation officer and also conducted follow-up checks ourselves.

Our role as police is to be the first responders — and in the cases involving Tarmo, we found no instance in which we were careless, negligent or lazy. We responded, we showed concern and we did not file these incidents away. What the 18 cases do make clear, however, is that at the scene, we have far too little to offer either the victim or the perpetrator.

We show up, we talk, we document the situation, we open an investigation, we take the person to sober up, we try to persuade the victim to seek help from victim support services and we do follow-up — but it's not enough. In domestic violence cases, it's crucial that both parties receive specialized support immediately and often also treatment. And when there are previous warning signs or violations of behavioral control conditions, more should be possible than in a first-time incident. That is the only way to set in motion a chain of events that leads to a meaningful solution.

In the police's view, the most essential change — and one that would not require major costs — is to extend the period during which the perpetrator cannot return to the family. Right now, the police can order the aggressive party to sober up or leave the home for up to 12 hours. That's barely enough time for the victim to get some sleep — by morning coffee, the perpetrator is back.

To provide victims with a real window to act, police in several European countries can impose a restraining order for more than seven days in domestic violence cases, with courts able to extend it significantly. In Estonia, that initial restraining order should be at least 72 hours instead of the current 12. Three days can save a life. It gives the victim time to breathe and to accept help.

A second key step is for the state — meaning all relevant partners — to adopt a shared goal and send a clear message that violence is not acceptable in Estonia. This would mean, for example, that in cases involving substance abuse, doctors could propose revoking a patient's medical certificate for a driver's license. That probation officers would be informed if a victim of violent crime is facing serious mental health issues. That courts would not assign the victim's home as the perpetrator's place of residence. That the behavioral conditions of a suspended sentence would be structured in a way that actually helps prevent more serious offenses. Much of this is a matter of attitude — and attitudes can change. We in the police are a living example of that.

A more costly, but equally necessary, toolkit for reducing domestic violence involves well-thought-out treatment and support programs. In our experience, the most urgent and critical need is to place a person clearly suffering from mental illness into medical care quickly — even if they have consumed alcohol. Right now, patrol officers accompanying someone in need of help to a psychiatric hospital are too often turned away at the door. That means we end up placing someone in a cell to sober up, but they receive no actual help.

In our daily work, we are seeing more and more clearly that we need a psychiatric emergency room. Repeated calls involving people with mental health disorders are, by their very nature, warnings — warnings that violence may escalate. And we must be able to respond before it costs someone their life.

To end violence, we need meaningful intervention programs and support not only for the victim but also for the perpetrator. These individuals often require addiction treatment and skills to function in society. I have no doubt that the police want to do more to help people in crisis. For example, to show up with a victim support worker who can remain by the victim's side. Or to be able to connect someone immediately with a psychiatrist, to map out the first steps and make initial agreements. Or simply to be able to offer the victim at least three days of peace. In any case, something more than a flyer.

Domestic violence is not some "soft" or niche issue. On Thursday evening, a 58-year-old man in Lääne County stabbed his wife. There are currently 325 individuals in Estonia who have committed at least three acts of domestic violence this year. In total, the police respond to around 7,600 cases of domestic violence annually — more than 20 a day — all of which require victim support services, social assistance, anger management, addiction treatment and psychological support for loved ones.

Behind every case are real people whose safest place — their home — has turned into a nightmare because of violence. We're not giving up on a single one of them. But to break the cycle of violence, we need a stronger support system.

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