"I came to this realization a while back thanks to my grandchild. I'm so attached to her that I realized I no longer want to leave home," Ansip told ERR.

"The presidency cycle brought my daughter, her partner and my seventh grandchild back home for two months. And that is when I realized I no longer want to leave home. But then came Kaja Kallas' letter which sparked defiance and excitement. Of course, there was broad-based support and I quickly got 173 signatures. But I increasingly felt that I was doing something only because someone wanted me not to. That is when I felt it's not right, that it's more honest to drop out now rather than later," Ansip said.

ERR asked whether Ansip believes his step back might negatively impact Reform's list of candidates. "Yes, but it is up to the party to decide how they run their campaign. Candidates are free in their decisions," he said.

As recently as Monday, Ansip turned in signatures endorsing him as one of nine European Parliament elections candidates at the Reform Party's in-house elections. Ansip was backed, among others, by Reform ministers Kristen Michal and Kalle Laanet.

Prime Minister and current Reform head Kaja Kallas wrote in a letter to fellow party members in February that she is asking Ansip not to run in the European Parliament elections. The PM has been a vocal critical of Ansip, recently suggesting that Ansip is not getting work done in the European Parliament, while Ansip has also repeatedly criticized Kallas in her role as prime minister.

The Reform Party is set to finalize its list of candidates by its April 7 general assembly.

Ansip: Efforts to suppress in-house debate

In an interview to ERR, Ansip once more found it necessary to criticize Kaja Kallas. "I believe that neither the government nor the party is being managed well at the moment, and I intend to keep talking about things honestly."

"In a situation where our party has 38 seats in the Riigikogu, what this means is that there can be no debate because a single party has enough power to steamroll any and all attempts at debate. And in a situation like that, debates should be especially fierce inside the party. Unfortunately, the latter is being suppressed and members having different opinions is viewed as something unnatural. It does not bode well for Estonia or the party," Ansip remarked.

He emphasized that he has no plans to disappear from Estonian politics. "It is clear that my fondness for my current position has been greatly overestimated and my freedom underestimated," he noted.

Follows Ansip's latest letter to members of the party:

Dear fellows!

Eighteen-month-old Astrid is our seventh grandchild. We are friends, we talk when we meet and also on Facetime. When I get home from Brussels, Astrid always runs up to me with her arms thrown wide and wants to sit on my lap. Once there, we ring a small bell that's on the mantlepiece and use a key to wind up the grandfather clock.

This is how it was until I suddenly felt that I no longer wanted to leave. I wanted to stay home.

Then came Kaja Kallas' letter that sparked defiance and the fight response. I am not a quitter. More so as my dissatisfaction with the government and how the party was being managed was far from unreasonable.

I received messages backing my candidacy from Setomaa and Saaremaa. I rifled through old messages on my phone. Several former colleagues had passed away. Several former fellow party members had quit. They said that the party in its current form was no longer the one they'd been part of. The party had 13,000 members in 2014, while it now has fewer than 10,000. More than a few people I approached for support said that while they support me, that is no longer true for the party. Polls also suggest the party has lost roughly half of its supporters.

I quickly racked up 173 signatures in support, instead of the ten I needed, before I suddenly asked myself, why? Why rush to the airport again? Does it still make me happy and satisfied?

Still, I sent in the signatures that endorsed me. I am deeply grateful to all who supported me. I am also grateful to those who said they would like to be on that list after learning who threw in their lot with me. I am grateful to the people who wished to fund my campaign.

But I failed to answer the "why?" of it. I increasingly felt that I was striving to do something simply because someone badly wanted me not to. Why should I make a dash for the Parliament if the head of my party suggests, in no uncertain terms, that I should not run and casts doubt on the work I have been doing with dedication all those years?

I will drop out from the running, while I will not stop thinking of Estonia and the Reform Party. Nor will I refrain calling it as a I see it.

I have not been able to be the father and grandfather I would like to be. There have always been more important things to do somewhere far away. Now, I have come to the realization that I am most needed here, at home. I no longer want to be the prime minister, commissioner or MEP. I want to be a grandfather. I am eagerly awaiting the arrival of our eight grandchild and will no longer be running anywhere.

I would like to apologize to all the good people whose hopes are betrayed by this decision.

Wishing you luck,

Andrus.

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